Domestic Violence and Abuses page

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE STATISTICS:

1. Nearly 1/3 of American women report being physically or sexually abused by a husband or boyfriend at some point in their lives.
2. During 1992 and 1993 women were victims of more than 4.5 million violent crimes, including appox. 500,000 rapes or other sexual assaults. In 29 percent of the violent crimes against women by lone offenders the perpetrators were intimates-husbands, former husbands, boyfriends and former boyfriends.
3. It is estimated that 503,485 women are stalked by an intimate partner each year in the United States.
4. Estimates range from 960,000 incidents of violence against a current or former spouse, boyfriend, or girlfriend each year to 4 million women who are physically abused by their husbands or live-in partners each year.
5. Of women who reported being raped and/or physically assaulted since the age of 18, three quarters (76 percent) were victimized by a current or former husband, cohabitating partner, date or boyfriend.
6. The majority of welfare recipients have experienced domestic violence in their adult lives and a high percentage are currently abused.
7. The National Domestic Violence Hotline has received more than 700,000 calls for assistance since Febuary 1996.
8. Forty-five percent of all violent attacks against female victims 12 years old and older by mutiple offenders also involved offenders they knew.

from Nikki Katz

Examples of Emotional Abuse in Domestic Violence

Emotional abuse is damaging to the soul. It often leaves a vague feeling of pain, a sense of something wrong that is hard to identify. Since it is so difficult to define, women often doubt their own perceptions. The emotional abuse of someone keeps the partner on an emotional roller coaster. He keeps her off balance so she does not trust her own sense of reality.

Like other forms of violence in relationships, emotional abuse is based on power and control. Some examples are as follows:

1. Isolation: The man will strongly discourage contact with friends and family. He will insist upon a move to an area far from these people, possibly rural or remote if they are city dwellers.
2. Limiting involvement with others: He will deny the woman access to a car, not allow her to go to school. If she is employed, he will harrass her on the telephone or turn up at her workplace and cause trouble so that she loses her job.
3. Control of finances: He will take her money, give her an allowance or make her ask for money. She will have to account for all her expenditures and will have no knowledge of the family finances.
4. Putting her down: The man will call her names, ridicule her, imitate her, tell her she is 'stupid', yell at her , downplay her accomplishments, degrade her dignity and self-worth, make her feel useless and inferior.
5. Playing mind games: He will deny the abuse ever happened, say 'she caused it', or make light of the abuse telling her 'she has no sense of humor'.
6. Using the children: He will threaten to take the children away from her.
7. Anger and jealousy: The man will get angry and jealous and accuse her of having affairs if she even speaks to another man.

Terri Arnold has an MS in Counseling and has been a psychotherapist for twenty years. She specializes in domestic violence and substance abuse issues.

ARE YOU IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP?

Has any of the following ever happened to you?

Does your partner:

1. Blame you for his or her mistakes? YES or NO
2. Prevent you from seeing your family or friends? YES or NO
3. Curse you, humiliate you, mock you or say mean things? YES or NO
4. Force you to have sex or force you to engage in sex that makes you feel uncomfortable? YES or NO
5. Restrain, hit, punch, slap, bite or kick you? YES or NO
6. Intimidate or threaten you? YES or NO
7. Evr prevent you from leaving the house, getting a job, or contiuing your education? YES or NO
8. Destroy personal property? YES or NO
9. Behave in an overprotective way or become extremely jealous? YES or NO
10. Threaten to hurt you, your children, pets, family members, friends, or himself? YES or NO

If you answered YES to any of these questions, you may be in an abusive relationship. Please seek help.

from Nikki Katz